You’ve got to be aware of who is in your midst.
Today’s Focus: The Darkside – There’s More Than Diddy
Jonathan Dunnett is the CEO of Enable Leaders, a curated executive coach matching service. With decades of experience in leadership and leadership development, he’s passionate about helping emerging and senior leaders find the right executive coach for them, all at no cost for the match.
Freakoffs might not be happening in your office
But, I can guarantee you, there is some bad behaviour. How right am I?
It might be Frank that “jokes” with everyone that has been employed for far too long, or, the office party that always makes people uncomfortable, or the CEO that takes out their childhood trauma on unsuspecting employees when they least expect it (or, worse, every day): there is no shortage of bad actors (or singers, or CEOs, or fellow employees) out there.
What is happening?
Sean Combs has been on a downward slide for quite some time, and it has been fascinating to see the dynamics of an entire industry ask, “can I say something?”
This Founder (yes, Founder) of Bad Boy Entertainment (was that a warning, in and of itself?) is under investigation for a myriad of questionable actions, with some pretty famous people, including comedian Katt Williams (among others – there’s already a movie out) saying, “I tried to tell you!”
Bad behaviour is all around us right now: as of time of writing, NYC Mayor Eric Adams has been charged with bribery, conspiracy, fraud and soliciting illegal foreign campaign donations, North Carolina’s Republication Governor nominee Mark Robinson has apparently used a porn site to openly express his thoughts on numerous horrific things, among others.
If you’re a wrestling fan, there’s a new documentary on former WWE head Vince McMahon (who has had more than his share of issues the last number of years): money, ego and characters were a part of Vince’s life: does that sound like anyone you know?
With all of these people, we have to answer the question, “Who could have known?”
What have you seen in your life? Why does bad behaviour matter? Why do people do what they do? What are their motivations?
Well, it’s not just bad behaviour that matters when it comes to leadership and work: it’s all behaviours that we need to watch and assess, and we need to understand if this is NORMAL for that person. This can also help to spot high performers who are on the verge of burnout: I really like Yerkes Dodson’s (see graphic at top) simple framework to help with that.
Myself, I’ve seen things like a colleague ending up on a cocaine binge and destroying his life, another colleague getting a serious medical diagnosis, and even finding out that a well known person that I met was running romance schemes on women and tragically ended their own life.
Human behaviour is a key assessment that we have on people, and it matters: you have to trust people to an appropriate level, depending on what you’re asking of them.
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Even those charged with upholding the law can be bad actors.
It might be that they are employee, with access to your bank accounts: Mark Cuban was robbed by an employee in the early days of his business, leaving him with only $2,000 in the bank. It might be that you’re considering partnering with someone for a new venture; It might be that you’re considering hiring someone for an important role: how can you know they are a good person?
The key is, you need to understand who this person is, and that generally comes through (as best as possible) the narrative of who that person is.
Now, that doesn’t mean people don’t change, either over long periods or in extreme periods of duress, stress, extravagance or otherwise, but in most situations, you need to understand two key things:
- Who is this person normally?
- Who is this person when they are stressed?
I developed the framework below that I use with organizations and people to help address this:
When you first meet someone, you get facts or data about that person. That can come from a variety of sources like your own observations (including using your senses), others that you trust, secondary sources and otherwise.
The goal is to help address the job that you have at hand: what is it that you’re trying to understand? What does this person need to be able to do? What it is that they should NOT do?
One additional point here: as you start to understand narrative, you need to look for outliers of behaviours. If you see those, look to understand the “why” of those moments. For my colleague trying to sell his golf clubs for $50, he had gone into a desperate state and ended up being terminated from work: that’s not the kind of employee you want in your environment, and not one that will help work to be a safe place.
Fundamentally, you need to be curious, and you need to look to understand and connect with others. Even the best detectives can be deceived, and if you focus on connection to spot the outliers, you can better understand who you are truly dealing with in your situation. TIME is one of your best assets in making judgements, too. I once had a friend who was debating hiring a CTO: the person put them on a 24-hour clock on whether or not to hire them. With only few details, I asked, “Is that the kind of person you want to work with as your CTO?” Remember, if they’ll rush you to hire, that’s not the only thing they may do that is off-center: and no, they didn’t hire them, and they are just fine!
Had others began to understand what Diddy was asking of them, or, what his reputation was, they might have gone elsewhere to help launch their career.
Be equipped, be vigilant and be a student of human behaviour: it’ll help you in every aspect of your work.
Albert Camus:
“Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is.” Photo
Free Resources
to help you
Business Profiling: What your best friend has to do with your business success
I wrote this piece a number of years ago to help people better understand how to think about others. It’s got a great array of resources linked inside, too!
Narcissists and psychopaths, and bullying, predatory, and coercively controlling behaviours?
I recently discovered Dr. Karen Mitchell’s work and she does a great job educating on dark personalities. See her posts on Twitter/X and her website below.
Who knows Donald Trump?
His niece, Mary, who is a psychologist, has done a number of interesting dives into who he is as a person. Remember the pyramid above and outliers: you want to look for consistency of behaviour when you’re trying to understand someone. Her perspective is only one, but, she’s also well placed (and trained) to understand him as a person, too.
As you watch this video, think about HOW she has come to assess Donald Trump (photo) as a person. How did she become informed? What might she have right? What needs further validation?
More Great Resources to Help You
Jonathan Dunnett, CEO, Enable Leaders
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